Understanding Bullying: What Every Parent, Carer and Professional Needs to Know

The latest figures from the Crime Survey for England and Wales (CSEW) show the scale of bullying affecting children today. In the year ending March 2023, it is estimated that:

  • 1,544,000 children aged 10–15 years experienced in-person bullying

  • 847,000 children experienced online bullying

These figures show no significant change compared with the year ending March 2020, underlining that bullying remains a persistent and serious issue for children and young people.

What is Bullying?

The Anti-Bullying Alliance defines bullying as:

“The repetitive, intentional hurting of one person or group by another person or group, where the relationship involves an imbalance of power. Bullying can be physical, verbal or psychological. It can happen face-to-face or online.”

Key features of bullying include:

  • Imbalance of power – physical, psychological, intellectual, or social.

  • Difficulty defending oneself – bullying is not a conflict between equals.

  • Fear of future victimisation – victims often worry the behaviour will continue.

  • Motivation beyond harm – sometimes bullying is about gaining influence, control, or possessions.

In certain cases, an incident may be considered bullying even if it only happens once—particularly if it involves sexual, sexist, racist, homophobic, or disability-related abuse.

Where Bullying Happens

Bullying can occur in many contexts:

  • Between children

  • Between children and adults

  • Between adults

It may be face-to-face, indirect (e.g., spreading rumours), or online (cyberbullying).

Forms of Bullying

Children may be bullied for countless reasons—or sometimes for no reason at all. Bullying is often rooted in prejudice and may relate to:

  • Race, religion or culture

  • Gender, including transgender identity or reassignment

  • Sexual orientation

  • Disability or special educational needs (SEN)

  • Care status (e.g., being adopted, looked after, or a young carer)

  • Socio-economic background, appearance or health

  • Academic ability or performance

Importantly, there is no hierarchy of bullying. Every form is serious and requires a proportionate response.

Examples of Bullying Behaviours

  • Name-calling, mocking, or taunting

  • Physical aggression – hitting, pushing, or damaging belongings

  • Intimidation through threats or gestures

  • Spreading rumours or gossip

  • Social exclusion (ignoring, isolating, or excluding from groups)

  • Inappropriate touching or offensive graffiti

  • Pressuring someone to do something against their will

Online Bullying (Cyberbullying)

Cyberbullying is bullying that happens online—through apps, games, social media, messaging, or any digital platform. It can occur at any time of day and often has a wider audience due to how quickly content can be shared.

Common examples include:

  • Abusive or threatening messages

  • Offensive posts or comments on social media

  • Sharing humiliating videos or images

  • Identity theft or impersonation

  • Online exclusion or group bullying

  • Spreading rumours or trolling

  • Encouraging self-harm

How Bullying is Experienced

Bullying is ultimately defined by its impact on the person targeted, not only by the behaviour itself.
What may feel like “teasing” or “banter” to one child can be deeply harmful to another.

Roles in Bullying

Bullying situations often involve more than just a “bully” and a “victim.” Roles can shift and overlap:

  • Ringleaders – those with the power to drive bullying activity.

  • Assistants – those who actively take part.

  • Reinforcers – those who encourage or support bullying (e.g., laughing).

  • Bystanders – those who stay silent, appearing to condone the behaviour.

  • Defenders – those who intervene or support the victim.

A child can play different roles at different times—even being both a victim and a perpetrator.

Signs a Child May Be Experiencing Bullying

Warning signs include:

  • Reluctance to go to school or return home

  • Falling behind in schoolwork

  • Frequent unexplained illnesses (headaches, stomach aches)

  • Lost or damaged possessions

  • Unexplained injuries or marks

  • Behaviour changes – aggression, withdrawal, or distress

  • Bullying siblings or others

  • Sleep problems, nightmares, or bed-wetting

  • Loss of appetite

  • Talking about running away, self-harm, or suicide

  • General unhappiness or unexplained anxiety

  • Direct disclosure

These signs can also indicate other difficulties, but bullying should always be considered and investigated promptly.

Final Thoughts

Bullying is complex, damaging, and sadly widespread. By recognising the signs, understanding the dynamics, and responding appropriately, we can make a vital difference in children’s lives.

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Thanks to li jianhua for kind permission to use the header image in this post, which was previously published on Unsplash.

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