30 Years of Love: A Tribute to Alex
A Celebration of 30 Years Together
This week, I celebrated my 30th wedding anniversary with the most special person in my life. While “I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for them” is often said figuratively, in my case, it’s quite literally true. Without the love, understanding, patience, and commitment of Alexandra (Alex) Young, I would not be the person I am today.
How We Met
We first crossed paths in the spring of 1992, during our first year at what was then newly redesignated Middlesex University in Enfield, North London.
At the time, I lived with Barry, a charismatic 50-something housemate well-known at the student union bar. Barry often invited people back to our rented home for music-filled evenings, singing and playing guitar while others joined in. It was at one of these spontaneous sessions that I met Alex.
On 26 May 1992, our relationship officially began. I still have my old Guns N’ Roses calendar with the date circled. That night, sitting in the lounge at 1 Elizabeth Ride and listening to Bonnie Raitt’s Something to Talk About, I scribbled a note suggesting we give people something to talk about and dropped it in Alex’s lap before slipping out of the room.
Alex later said she knew, even then, that my “invitation” wasn’t just for a date—it was the beginning of a lifelong commitment.
Life as Students
Soon after, Alex moved into our small student house with Barry, Liz, David, and me. By the end of summer, Barry had returned to Bolton, and the four of us moved into a place in Edmonton.
That Christmas, I returned home and took agency work as a road sweeper. While moving house recently, I came across a four-page letter I had written to my foster carers at the time. In it, I described my relationship with Alex as one “which means more to me than anything else in the world,” adding, “Alex is a person I love dearly.” Both sentiments remain as true today as they were over 30 years ago.
Asking for a Blessing
Not long after, I travelled by National Express coach to Lancashire to meet with Alex’s father, John Glossop, in Melling. I wanted to do things properly—not to ask permission, but to seek his blessing to propose to Alex. Thankfully, he gave it.
I went down on one knee in Alex’s childhood bedroom and asked her to marry me. She said yes, and we celebrated with her family at the Melling Hall pub, which has since been converted into private housing.
Sadly, I also remember leaving a brown envelope of cash on the bar that evening, money I’d just earned for an engagement ring. When we returned the next day, the landlord denied ever seeing it, claiming that if he had, he’d probably have “thrown it in the fire.” Needless to say, we went back to London without a ring!
Our Wedding Day
We both graduated in 1995, the same summer we married. Our wedding was a true community celebration:
The Mountains family provided the car.
Residents of Melling filled the church with flowers from their gardens.
Friends and family decorated the reception hall at Melling Institute with handmade paper chain silhouettes.
I still have my speech, scribbled on scraps of paper:
“Alex and I have been together over three years, and it is a relationship which has exceeded all my expectations. Her humour, understanding and genuine warmth have made me one of the happiest and confident people I know.”
Not Shakespeare, perhaps, but heartfelt.
That same month, Alex’s parents, John and Prue, celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary. I remember hoping we would reach that milestone too.
Family, Love, and Loss
We were blessed to spend 20 years of marriage living close to Alex’s parents after moving to Lancashire in 1996. Sadly, John passed away in 2016. I often reflect on all I learned from him as a husband, father, and grandfather. I hope he would feel I have done right by his first daughter and by his grandchildren.
To My Alex
I love you more today than yesterday, but less than I will tomorrow.
With all my love,
John xXx