Understanding why a child runs away is the first step in responding effectively
Taken Into Care at Christmas
On Christmas Eve 1985, my siblings and I were taken into the care of the London Borough of Sutton under the Child Care Act 1980. Our first stop was Roseberry House Reception Home in Cheam. We were placed in what was called a “Place of Safety”. I still remember the initials POS written against our four names on the office whiteboard. We weren’t the only ones — far from it.
As the title suggests, Roseberry House was a short-term admissions unit where children stayed while decisions were made about their future. In time, we were to be moved to Hillcroome Road Children’s Home, less than two miles away. But the start of that transition didn’t go smoothly.
School, Routine, and the Unexpected
Despite the move, I remained at Wallington High School for Boys, making the one-hour round trip to and from school every day. One afternoon, as I returned from school, the cook greeted me as I walked through the kitchen.
“What’s for dinner, Jean?” I asked.
“Fish and chips,” she said, “but you don’t need to worry — you’re all going out for dinner tonight.”
“What? Where?” I asked, confused.
“Hillcroome,” she replied.
At 13 years old, I was already carrying the weight of losing my mum, dad, my violent, alcoholic stepmother (good riddance!), and even my dog. That day, being told what was happening — without anyone consulting us — pushed me over the edge.
Why We Ran Away
I wasn’t one for violent outbursts, but I knew I had to send a message: if they wanted us to do something, they had to involve us. We weren’t property to be moved around without thought. We were children with voices, opinions, and feelings.
So, I gathered my brother (11) and two sisters (9 and 6) and decided we wouldn’t be going to Hillcroome that evening. We’d disappear — at least until it was too late for dinner.
We headed towards the A217, a busy dual carriageway, and walked north toward somewhere familiar — Rosehill. Before long, the younger two grew tired, and I realised my plan had been a little too ambitious.
A Pause at the Fire Station
By this point, we had reached Sutton Fire Station, and firefighters were outside carrying out a training drill. We stopped, sat down, and watched. I can’t remember how long we stayed there, but as they began packing away, I knew it was time to head back.
Later that evening, we returned to Roseberry House — tired, hungry, and probably cold. Thankfully, dinner had been saved for us. We ate quickly before heading to bed.
What That Experience Taught Me
Today, as a safeguarding and child protection trainer, I have designed and delivered sessions on children going missing from home or care. This is a personal story that I share regularly.
The most important lesson is this: understanding why a child runs away is the first step in responding effectively.
For me that day, the trigger was a mix of anxiety and anger — fuelled by a lack of control. Nobody had asked us what we thought. Nobody had explained what was happening or why.
By the age of 13, I already understood that behaviour is communication. Running away wasn’t just rebellion — it was me saying: “Listen to us. We matter.”
The Key Safeguarding Message
Every child has the right to be heard. Their thoughts, feelings, and opinions must be taken seriously, especially in decisions that directly affect their lives.
Whether in care, at school, or at home, children are not just passive passengers. They are individuals with voices that deserve to be respected.