A Personal Adventure: My First Day in Care
As I mentioned in a previous post, I recently moved after living in the same rented house for 24 years. While packing, I rediscovered my high school exercise books. Among them was a piece I wrote for English class between March and April 1986 – what would now be called Year 9. I've corrected the grammar and spelling (I certainly wasn’t this good at English back then!) but otherwise left it as it was.
A Personal Adventure
My adventure isn’t like most adventures, watching a car crash or going on a plane. It’s simply my first day in care.
It was seven o’clock on Monday, 23 December [1985]. I looked from my window to see my stepmother fighting a young man in his 30s. I leaned out of the window to watch my stepmother being beaten about. Then I felt a sudden anxiety to walk outside and help the man in any way I could, but I knew it was my duty to look after my brother and sisters. So, I went downstairs, fed the dog and watched TV.
15 minutes later, the fight was over. This I knew as I’d opened the door to let the dog out. I immediately brought the dog back in. I ran upstairs again to see my stepmother being dragged with great difficulty towards a police van.
About 2¾ hours later, there was a knock at the door. The dog went running towards the door, barking. I opened the door to see a PC and a WPC standing there.
“Can we come in?” asked the PC.
“Yes, I suppose so”.
“What’s your name, son?”
“John”, I replied.
“Well, John, your mother…”
“Stepmother”, I said.
“Anyway, your stepmother has been taken to Sutton Police Station and has been arrested on the charges of GBH and drunken disorder.”
“Don’t surprise me,” I said.
“Oh, you mean she often does this sort of thing?”
“Yeah, she’s always drinking, getting bashed up and being charged.”
“Oh, er, will you accompany me to the station then, please?”.
“Only if we can take our dog”.
“Yeah, I suppose so, but get a lead for him.”
I searched around for one but was unsuccessful, so I got a belt and loosely strapped it around the dog’s neck.
We got to the police station at about 10:30 p.m. “Sit in there”, said the WPC, pointing to an interview room.
We sat there bored out of our minds until a man came in and said we were being taken to a children’s home in Sutton.
We left our dog in the police kennels and, regrettably, walked away. Suddenly, I heard the dog begin to whine. So ran, knowing I would break down in tears if I heard her any longer.
We arrived at the home at 12:40 a.m. and were given a drink and quickly shown to our rooms. I had a wash and went to bed.
Teacher’s comment: 15/20 – Clearly described
Reflections – Nearly 40 Years On
This Christmas marks 40 years since my siblings and I went into care. While I don’t remember all the details of the police conversation, I vividly recall watching the fight from the window with my brother and two sisters. I was the oldest at just 13. My brother was 11, and my sisters were 9 and 6. I also remember our arrival at the children’s home – though that’s a story for another day.
To provide some context: our mother had died in 1981. Our father passed away less than two weeks before this incident. In the months leading up to it, we lived in a home filled with violence and alcohol abuse at the hands of our stepmother, who, despite everything, was also a devout Jehovah’s Witness.
Although the term Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) wasn’t introduced until the 1990s, I think it’s fair to say we had more than our share of them.
Returning to school after the Christmas holidays in 1986 and travelling a long distance from our new children’s home took some getting used to. But I am forever grateful that I was able to stay at the same school from 1984 to 1991. That continuity – amid so much instability – played a vital role in my life.
It provided me with structure, a sense of normality, and a solid foundation for learning. It also helped spark my passion for education and training, as well as my commitment to supporting others, particularly those facing challenging circumstances.
Jingling Lane Training: Learning from Life
I founded Jingling Lane Training to offer the highest quality, most cost-effective safeguarding and protection training nationwide. I draw on personal, professional, and academic experience to help others enhance the lives of vulnerable children and adults.
I’m also passionate about volunteering and would love to contribute to the Voluntary, Community and Social Enterprise (VCSE) sector, whether by:
attending train-the-trainer programmes and presenting programmes, or
developing and delivering free community workshops in domestic abuse awareness, active bystander training, sexual harassment education, or mental health first aid.
If you’re interested in working together or would simply like to connect, please don’t hesitate to Contact Us.
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